We all strive for resiliency, but sometimes life throws too much at you.
In the autumn of 2014, I set off on a spiritual journey because I felt my little family was drowning in negativity. My husband (whom I’ll call Guitar Man) had suffered three deaths in his family in nine months and felt stuck in a job he no longer found joy in, our formerly happy, loving kids (Dragon and Peach) were unhappy in school and had begun to bicker constantly, we had lost all three of our beloved pets in the space of 18 months, and I was struggling… to not only re-define myself after ten years as a stay-at-home mom, but to somehow keep us all afloat in a sea of grief, anxiety and pervasive despondency. Since our children were still young enough to depend on us to “fix” things, and my husband was too buried by work and his own issues, I knew if things were going to take a turn for the positive, I needed to be the one to implement the change.
I had always had an interest in New Age things, but up to this point it had only been in the spirit of ‘just for fun.’ I had dabbled in Feng Shui at our house, had gotten readings from psychics and tarot card readers on girls’ nights out, and I regularly asked angels for help, safekeeping and parking spaces. For the most part, it had all felt like a bit of a lark, like reading your horoscope or a fortune cookie – delightful when it applies, yet easy to shrug off when it doesn’t. But suddenly, I needed something more tangible than a ‘just for fun’ solution. I needed real answers – and real progress.
One night in September, Guitar Man was at a baseball game with some pals from work and the kids had gone to bed. With a few rare moments to myself, I sat down and watched The Secret on Netflix. I recalled hearing about the movie years before, but had never really caught the gist of what it was about. That night, though, I had the time and the need (and most likely, the outside guidance – which I am sure I’d asked for in desperation at some point) to not only pay attention, but to actually start thinking about how I could help dig us out of the emotional hole we were in.
And I started taking steps.